God….give me strength….i really need it…..give me optimism….i need to feel good about things….please give us joy…..please god…..life has reached a plateau …..please help us get beyond this…climb higher….keep my faith god. i trust in u god….i let go of my worries to u….u r the protector…..our saviour.

Ok…so now …after reading throught a lot of internet articles..i have come across some very interesting facts…well..it seems that the chances of concieving are limited to two days in a month!…yes….thats right….the odds are tougher than I imagined……..TWO freakin days!!!!!!!!!!….to get some biological facts out….ovulation in a woman’s body happens once every month, and the time that the egg has between being born and fertilising is just two days,…after that it shrinks and dies!….awwwww!!!…the catch here is…yes there is a further catch….u never knw when those two days are gonna happen in a month……usually with a normal cycle every woman is most fertile in the middle of the month (14-16) but sometimes……get this….SomEtimes..it can happen before or after too!!!!!!!!…so there……I AM so screwed!!!!!!!!…(and not in the good sense either!)

I wish i hadn’t given up my career…..but…then how would I be with D…..

i was thinking about this today and thought i could make sense of this if i write it down and put it out there… 

thing is i had a great career about 3 years back….i was working in a MNC and was doing reasonably well……but at time I think I used to take my career for granted.. i was in love with D…(still am) and after marriage when he got a good offer which meant him moving to another country ..I didnt think for a second and gave up my job …..Ive been living here for three years now…since i didnt have a visa and still dont and also since the language spoken here is new to me…..(still cant speak it perfectly) i couldnt find a job in my earlier field….so started doin odd jobs like teaching  ..in small schools or as tuition’s…..but there is no future in this job!!!!!!……problem is I want to work …but at a level where i used to….

also….D’s job is all we’re both discussin nowadays…..its become the centre of attention fr both of us…… i dont feel bad …i want him to progress …to do really well…its very important to me that he does well…..my happiness is closely linked to his……but sometimes i wish i had a stable job……! it feels like god is giving me a trade-off…if i have a good job back home..D will have to make do with a lesser profile….way lesser money…….

and i dont even know what kind of job offers i’ll get what with 3 years of break!!!!…and moreover we’re now planning for a baby….what’s in store for me god…..what’s gonna happen?….will i be house bound forever…will i never have a career of my own?  

We’ve been trying to have a baby…it started about two months back…as I’m goin “over the hill” ….and i was adamant to have it before what I think was not a good age bracket to have a baby…

i thought it would be like ….did it without protection a couple of times and BAng! …(yes!literally)…baby concieved and shortly after delivered and bla bla…but no …as always life does not play out as u plan…..so its been three months and we’re still trying….aaah!!!!!….(not in the orgasmic sense but more in the tear my hair out..want-a-baby-right-now sense)…yes…u would not want to meet me right now….will shoot if messed with!….

hmm…i’ve been checking a lot of websites …evidently u have just 4-5 days in a month which are the best time to concieve…rest of the days if you make out it results in ..SQUAT!….so unfortunately our making out sessions have reduced to about 4 days in a month…yes…back to back…phew!…talk about storm after a lull….(sorry use of idiom intended) rest of the month we are in a kind of enforced celibacy period….and its like suddenly bang! (yes..again!) we indulge in four days full of ravenous sinful sessions…needless to say….this has some positives and negatives…yes..let me list them down fr u and expand ur knowledge horizons:

Positives:

• gets more exciting during the aforementioned sex-laden days instead of having the predictability of the weekend make out sessions…or ”back early from office” evening one’s
• D (my blessed husband) has become my “booty call”..so ..its exciting fr him n more power to me..yay!!
• the unhindrance of plastic…or latex..whatever…..separating us!…down with condoms!

Negatives:

• Feel like monks for the majority of the month…pure and sanctimonious or bored to death…like living in a platonic relationship with a roomate of the opposite gender
• laying down after the event for the prescribed 5 minutes with my hips properly plomped on pillows…at the recommended height of elevation…..takes out all the excitement and romance frm all the above-mentioned positive’s
• the cleaning and washing up of the mess afterwards…yuck!!!..yes…yuckkkk!..hmmm…condoms were such a blessing…

So there it is….now i hope having shared this valuable advice with the world out there brings me some good karma….lord…this month pleaseeee?!!!!!!!!!

   

Standing in an original-tiled balcony with a black wrought iron hand crafted grill, in a sprawling old rustic villa (equipped with all modern plumbin n toilet facilities..no em not sooooo adventurous!) ….shadowed by tall leafy trees, overlooking the beautiful green mounds of Tuscany…hmmmmm…

trekking towards the snow-capped peaks of patagonia…with looong stops inbetween beside serene crystal-clear, bluest blue sky reflecting lakes….amply covered with sturdy AAand designer warm jackets (looking like how them european women look… FASHIONable even when wearing 5 inch thick jackets and yeti-fur snow boots!!)

sitting..no lying down…ON my tummy in a cushy n comfortable reclining beach chair…or bed..whtvr….under the breezy shadowes of palm trees ….(sans ny danger of fallin fruits or droppings) on a white lonely sandy beach with azure….yes….azhhhure ..clear (coral/fish-spotting clear kind) waters…with aromatic natural oils being gently massaged into my glowing skin by soft hands (preferably female…wnt hv too much peace of mind with d other gender!)….
with a tall glass of iced lime juice (spruced wit somethin infinitely more potent)….ahhhhhhhhhh!!!

off to drink something….all this fantasising is way too much for me…